Tony Blair - Our Leader - Prime Minister

John Prestcott - Deputy Leader (in hock to Unions - only in senior role to keep Unions happy)

Jack Straw - Home Secretary

David Blunckett - Education Secretary (boring trouble maker on Back Benches)

Margaret Beckett - Industry Secretary (dangerous lefty - meddler)

Gordon Brown - Chancellor

Robin Cook - Foreign Secretary (extreme lefty who cannot spell experience)

Frank Dobson - Health Secretary

Harriet Harman - Social Affairs Secretary (extreme lefty who will meddle)

George Robertson - Defence Secretary

Clair Short - Overseas Aid (useless job, extreme and vicious lefty)

Ron Davie - Welsh Secretary

Donald Dewar - Scottish Secretary

Chris Smith - Heritage Secretary

Anne Taylor - Leader of the Commons

Derry Irvine - Lord Chancellor

Alistair Darling - Treasury Chief Secretary

Majorie Mowlam - Northern Ireland Secretary (no hope job, extreme and vicious lefty)

Ivor Richard - Leader of the Lords

Gavin Strang - Minister of Transport

Nick Brown - Chief Whip

David Clark - Chancellor Duchy of Lancaster

Jack Cunningham - Agriculture Minister (trouble maker)

Peter Mendelson - Minister without Portfolio